Mittrolled

It's really a pity that Rick Santorum isn't a presidential candidate any more. Personally, I like Rick Santorum, because he is the closest thing the Republicans have, to an internet troll. The only problem with non-internet-trolls is that they fight on a foreign terrain, where they have no home-field advantage and they will ultimately lose that battle. The inevitable retrolling was quick, hard and efficient and in the end, even Google defined the term "Santorum" as mixture of excrement and lube which emerges from anal sex. And Google is always right!

That makes it clear why Rick Santorum retired from the presidential elections, as not even Americans would vote for such fecal product to become their president. With one down, the trolls went on to mock the next republican candidate. As "Romney" obviously sounds like a verb to Americans, it became a synonym for emptying your bowels in panic, referring to an incident which happened to the Romney family in 1983. The five members of the Romney clan went on vacation in Canada and since they had not enough space in their car, young Mitt strapped their familiy dog onto the roof. You can probably guess the end of the story: The dog shat himself and the car.

What I want to say: I think the trolls really missed a chance there. In my opinion, his first name has way more potential. "Mitt" does not really sound like a bad word, but it sounds somewhat filthy or like something you want to get rid of. For example: In the summertime, I usually suffer from hay fever. And after waking up, I often have some kind of crust stuck in my nose. Now when manually cleaning my nose, some heavy bleeding may occur. The resulting mixture of blood, slime and boogers could be called Mitt. Or when it is really hot outside and at the slightest physical activity, sweat starts to run down your butt crack and slowly begins to smell. I guess, that could also be "Mitt", right?